i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
