"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
