absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
