Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
