this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
