i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
