i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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