Umm I'm too high to move.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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