Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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