He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He has the fingertips of a God
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize