how can u be prego again
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
