Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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