you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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