wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
