remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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