im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
