What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
