He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
