Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
