I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
