Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i was born a porn star she said
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
