I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
