thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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