I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
do herpes really smell.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
