You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
