I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
