Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
