I can text with my tongue
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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