You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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