I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize