that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
