so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
