apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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