I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize