Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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