I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
