No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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