I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
my being single is dangerous.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
