so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
