we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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