Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
