That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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