Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
