I cockslap morals
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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