Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
