I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You can't just leave with hair like that
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize