these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
