i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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