Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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