If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
