is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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