That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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