If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
