What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
