it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
