I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
so much tequila, so little girl.
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