She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
