Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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