Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
