Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My legs feel like baby dolphins
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
