Can i not drive my cunt home
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
