fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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