I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
