I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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