Ambien. No doubt about it.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Mom said you looked used
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You were trust falling into bushes
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
