I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
